Last updated on August 19th, 2020
You have people or situations in life that reminds you of your weakness; you just wish to ignore them hard, but you can’t. Or maybe, you have to deal with the people who play an important role in your life, and that’s why you can’t ignore them even if your soul is fed up. Amid this, when you reach out to a friend or a counsellor, their best advice could be “Learn to ignore. It’s vital for your mental health“.
And I am sure that your list is very long. Let me remind you’re not alone in this war. Everyone including me is on the same page in this regard. At present, you might be trying to ignore unnecessary but energy-consuming thoughts, criticism, people’s opinion about you, copying others life and their lifestyle, comparing yourself and your destiny to others, societal pressure, following ex’s life activities, jealousy, your past, a will to keep everyone’s happy, temptation to say yes even when you want to say ‘no’ and so on.
Weak People Revenge. Strong People Forgive. Intelligent People Ignore.
But, wait…have you found the solution yet? I think you haven’t and that’s why you’re here reading this article. Or might be, you have learnt to ignore a few particular things but have failed to deal with others.
So, without wasting more time talking about your problems, let’s come to the solution straightforward. And the solution is in one simple question itself: ‘Why do you fail to ignore the things that bother you?’
Once you find the answer to your question, you get a solution as well. And, it’s only you who can figure out this. Let’s find out why you fail to ignore the unnecessary and unproductive stuff and continue to distort your mental health.
Why You Fail to Ignore Things that Bother You
There can be the following reasons why you don’t hold control over yourself and let go of the things and people. For that, you need a self-assessment test here. You need a quality of few honest self-talk sessions. This is not to point out your weaknesses, rather leading you to the path of self-improvement.
Please don’t forget, nobody is perfect. So, if you find out that you have some kind of weakness like jealousy, please don’t degrade yourself or take an offence for that. The key is to finding your weakness, once you find them, you can accept them, and you’re sorted then.
Now, please try to know why you fail to ignore things. The reason might be because:
1. You compare yourself to others
You are unable to ignore things around because you are stuck to these unnecessary thoughts: “If I ignore the modern trends, they would call me an old-fashioned. If I don’t wear that tight uncomfortable dress which is in trend these days, I am not going to look good.”
And here you are failing to ignore people’s criticism and judgement!
This is quite common, I’d say. But trust me, this is a very unfair comparison. You are unnecessarily comparing yourself to others because you have an inferiority complex or you don’t know how to be your original self.
This ends up deteriorating your mental health so much. Because you lose your original self and try to force someone else’s style on yourself.
How to stop comparing yourself
Don’t be socially sensitive and stop following every single trend your social circle is following. Learn to ignore copying others. For this, you have to start accepting yourself the way you are. If you want to learn this, please go through this article,
You must learn that you can look beautiful in your way. Create your style. Remember if you are uncomfortable in a dress, you will never look confident. And beauty is all about confidence. Ignore what people say for now.
Try to impress yourself with your charm first, gradually you will see, people are liking you the way you are. If you wish to stay simple, remember the saying “Simple living and high thinking”.
A particular thing which is the source of happiness to others, make you feel miserable. So, don’t copy others. Learn to ignore criticism.
2. You are jealous
Often, you are surrounded by these emotions: “They are enjoying their life, planning holidays, getting the promotion, and so on. This is what I wanted and got unlucky but they are fulfilling their dreams.”
And thus how you fail to ignore jealousy & energy-consuming thoughts!
This thought process can drive you the crazy to the extent you don’t know. Jealousy can cause anger, sadness, resentment and thus ruin your mental health. It’s not uncommon though, you need to do something about to protect your mental health and experience a sense of freedom.
How to not be jealous
Here are the things which can help you learn to ignore jealousy and other negative things. Set yourself free:
- Learn to be patient and consistent.
- Ignore your thoughts about being unlucky.
- Learn to believe yourself.
- Just believe the God/ universe you believe in.
- Remember, nothing is permanent here so is not bad luck. It happens to everyone. It’s not your fault at all.
- Time whether good or bad will pass quickly.
- Practice gratitude.
- Have instant coping techniques like writing down, self-talk, meditation or something else.
The existence of the Universe is such that nobody is going to have permanent success, permanent failure.
3. You compare your destiny to others
“Why am I still unmarried? Why was my childhood was so stressful? Why did I not get this job despite being more than qualified for it?” And more countless questions lead to stealing your peace. Once they start coming to your mind, it’s difficult to ignore them.
Look, this is how you fail to not comparing your destiny to others!
The only solution to this problem is that you should learn to focus on your present. You should try to live your destiny and enjoy what you have.
How to live your destiny instead
Uff…! That seems to be very easy to hear, but impossible to follow :(.
But you should keep reminding yourself that everyone’s destiny is not the same and changing destiny is not at your hands. This is how it becomes possible to get rid of this emotion.
Ask yourself, “Why are you forgetting that what is yours, will come to you anyhow”? You can read about this in Bhagavad Gita. The principle of Karma is very well explained there.
Or read this article,
4. You want to keep everyone happy
This is the most common tendency found in people usually. You want to keep everyone happy. Because you want to earn extra points from them by always saying ‘yes’ word. You just don’t want to get judged by saying ‘no’.
In short, you are living for everyone except for yourself!
And this is how you fail to ignore negative things ‘What will people say? & How will they manage without me?”
How to get rid of this habit
Learn to ignore negative things. Just live for yourself. Sounds simple? But it is not. But, you have no other option either. So, practice it. Practice self-care. Think like this: you have to ignore their happiness for a while to protect your mental health. Once you’re happy, you can save your relationships again.
Here are the following things you can do to prioritize yourself:
- Don’t feel guilty when you get up late in the morning.
- Stop blaming yourself for the things you’re not responsible for.
- Eat things that you like most. Cheating is good sometimes.
- Don’t always feel guilty for releasing your emotions.
- Remember anger isn’t always unhealthy but don’t overdo it. Learn to control it.
And if you want to learn to say ‘no’, you should read this article;
5. You are under the pressure from society
Several unhealthy thoughts are always running in your mind. Your thought process goes like this:
“I am still learning. I have a dysfunctional family. I am going to die because of shame if I make mistakes. I will never achieve my goals and because of this, I would be a laughing stock for them.“
And you fail to ignore/avoid societal pressure!
Let’s figure out now what you can do to stop and ignore this war in your mind.
How to ignore societal pressure
Being a social person is good but ask yourself: “Do you want to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of fake image?” Everything comes last be it society, ambition, fame, career. Just focus on what makes you happy first.
Ask yourself these questions to deal with peer pressure:
- Who will be responsible if I am not happy after killing my dreams, society or me?
- Are they genuinely concerned about my happiness? If not, why should I care?
- Am I alone who is going under this pressure.
- Is this going to matter after 5 years when I would have sorted out all my problems?
6. You live in your past
Let me know if you have these types of thoughts:
“My ex is getting married. That incident took everything from me. Nothing is left for me and I will be ruined and nothing is ever going to be positive to me.”
If yes, you are failing to ignore your past!
Because you would not have given a damn about the life activities of your ex or haven’t reacted to a past incident if you truly had moved on with your life. Whether you accept it or not, you’re living in your past!
How to live in the present moment
So, you have accepted it now that you need to walk away from past incidents and people. Try to do the following things now to love in the present:
- Believe in the power of the present moment.
- Work hard and have faith.
- Believe in your skills.
- Say to yourself: “You will get what you have been destined for.”
- Be patient and see what God has planned for you.
- Patience will help you get rid of this emotion.
Gradually you will develop the power of looking forward into your future rather living in the present.
9. You don’t know how not to ignore your happiness
You prioritize everything over yourself. It happens because you feel guilty. You have a family, kids, spouse to take care of. You often ignore your health by thinking they should come first. So, you put yourself last.
In short, you don’t know how to practice self-care. You have guilt, fear, and everything to not take care of yourself. But you need to change yourself dear! It won’t happen out of the blue. You have to learn it step by step.
How to practice self-love
Learn to ignore everything that limits your freedom. Nobody else can help you here but yourself. Learn to ignore putting yourself last. Learn not to ignore your happiness and health. Learn to give time to yourself.
These articles could be of help,
It’s your life, learn to be happy
You must have figured out by now what’s stopping you from unburdening your soul from unnecessary people and stuff. Now, it’s time to be happy. Practising the following things can make your life more beautiful.
You might like,
- 15 quotes to lift your mood instantly
- 40 positive things to say to yourself daily
- 30 Quick Stress Buster Activities (Awaken Your Inner Child)
a) Leverage your purpose
Leverage your purpose to help and serve someone else, not for money. You can give moral support to someone. That might mean helping them pursue their dreams, or supporting them to reach their fitness goals.
Whatever gives your life meaning, give it to someone freely. You will feel different.
b) Leverage your passion to help
Leverage your passion to help someone else. For example, if you’re a teacher, give free classes to those who cannot go to school. If you’re passionate about cooking, cook something and distribute the foods to needy ones.
If you play an instrument, raise money to of it and donate to someone. You can also give 2 out of you 10 classes free.
c) Simplicity in your character
Add the word ‘Simplicity’ in your character dictionary. Changing living style can overcome stress and improve your mental health.
Being simple is classy; living with simplicity gives peace; simplicity is just awesome. In Hindu Vedic Texts, simplicity leads to salvation.
d) Control your mood swings
Similar articles you might want to read,
- How to let go of your anger
- How to get rid of negative thoughts quickly
- Do an X-ray of your thoughts to make better decisions in life
It’s your life. There would be problems, hurdles, and criticism. If you give your ear to every criticism, they would hinder your progress and your health as well.
You must have to learn how to ignore unnecessary stuff and how to take criticism healthily. You have to learn how to calm your mind in mid of anxiety and make the castle through the pelted stones at you.
And, try to be the reason for someone’s happiness. Spread happiness.
- 43 Fun Things To Do At Home To Reduce Stress & Boost Productivity
- Losing Your Peace of Mind: Figure Out Why You’re Not Happy
- How To Improve Yourself Every Day And Why You Should
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