A Letter to Myself: Learn to Say No & Say Goodbye to Self-torture

Last updated on January 28th, 2022

It often happens to me. I am just wanting to say no but ends up saying yes. It makes me put them in a miserable situation. Nodding my head for a “yes” for a very long time, I realized I need to do something about it. Today, I am writing a letter to myself in the hope that I would learn how to say no.

A letter to myself: learn to say no

#1. You don’t become evil if you say no

Please try to understand your one “no” is not a kind of mistake or a sink which makes you evil. Helping others is a good thing but not at the cost of your mental health or your reasonable reasons.

#2. You’re not selfish for saying no

Selfishness is called when something is in your hands but you’re deliberately ignoring to help. If your reasons are healthy, you never become selfish.

So, never underestimate yourself for saying no.

#3. You don’t need to take responsibility for everything

Remember, someone’s needs or demands aren’t your responsibility at all. So, why you are torturing yourself for saying no?

Say to yourself, “I will say yes only when I can. I will not put myself in a bad situation. It’s not my responsibility to help everyone out there.”

#4. Self-care comes first

Nothing is more important than self-care. Please remember you can’t make anyone happy when you are unhappy.

By saying yes, you are helping that person, but giving him your irritation, frustration and negative vibes too.

And, that’s not a very good thing for sure!

#5. You should respect your opinion

Why do you doubt yourself when you say no? Don’t you recognize your self-worth?

If so, first learn to value yourself and your opinions.

Related:

Learn to Ignore Things That Bother You & Be happy

How to say no

Now, when you have accepted that you can say no and there is no harm in it. Prepare yourself for the next step.

#1. Why feel bad when you’re being honest?

Remember you’re being honest by saying no. Because saying “I will try” when you can’t help is much worse than being straightforwardly saying no.

#2. Politeness won’t hurt anyone

Say that you feel grateful that they come to seek help from you. Say like this “thanks for asking; I felt great if I could do something about it. But I am sorry. It’s just outside my range.”

People understand when you become polite.

#3. Don’t over-explain

Don’t give reasons and over-explain it. Because a person who comes to you is expecting something from you. when you’re unable to say yes, your explanation irritates that person more.

So, be precise and sweet.

#4. Don’t apologize

Why apologize when you’re not doing anything wrong. Please understand that your “no” is right. Say “sorry” but don’t fall prey to guilt. Else this guilt would keep you feeling more terrible.

#5. Telling lies is a big mistake

Telling lies may work for that time but later outcomes can become more dangerous. So, just be honest, clear, and concise.

It ends up ruining your relationship with that person eventually. You can always say the truth and be happy with your decision.

I realized I need to learn…how to say no to myself as well

Now when I am going to finish ” A letter to myself for learning to say no”, I realized that this is also necessary. So, I am trying to learn this as well. I am trying to learn to say to myself as well.

A letter to myself to learn how to say no to unnecessary stuff

• I will not compromise my self-respect for anyone….I repeat…… “for anyone”! This is something that comes first in “A letter to myself”
• I accept myself the way I am. I will not torture myself to copy someone other life, style, and destiny.
• Taking the decisions for myself is my right, my decisions will no longer be influenced by society.
• It’s not my job to keep everyone happy. I will not say “yes” when I want to say “no“.
• I will stand for myself. Being a woman doesn’t mean being anyone’s puppet. I am proud of my existence and proud of being a woman.
• My battles are my own, I will fight them on my own no matter how hard they seem to be. Playing the victim wouldn’t be my thing any further.

DON’T PLAY THE VICTIM TO CIRCUMSTANCES YOU CREATED

• Nobody will write about my future. My heart is my best mentor.
• I will take care of my health no longer put myself in the last.
• Giving time to myself would be top on my list. No Compromise here!
• I will leave my past behind, no matter hard it is. It will not ruin my present from now.
• ‘Accept criticism and keep moving forward is my new slogan. It will not affect my growth.

THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY IS BEING HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, AND NOT WHO PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE.

 

• No rejection can hinder my progress.
• I can be fearful, but I will accept all my fears. They will no more make me afraid.
• No matter what comes to mislead me, I will follow my principles.
• I bow to reach my destination, no matter how long and scary the path is.
• I will try to see good in evil and fight against it but no evil would be able to overpower me and crush my dreams.
• My life will be an inspiration to others, no matter how hard I have to work today.

IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU DO, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, WITH TRUE LOVE AND TRUE INTEGRITY, THEN YOU BECOME A TRUE INSPIRATION.

 

• I love my original version and decide to show its beauty of it to the world.
• My goal is to prove my victory even if everything is at stake and lost.
• I will not let myself go in the dark and look for the positive, not give up on my ideas, live in the present. This is my life. I will make it more beautiful and find my purpose!

Further reading:

• 30 Quick Stress Buster Activities (Awaken Your Inner Child)
• Self-acceptance: 11 Ways to Accept Your Reality The Way It Is
• 43 Productive Things to Do at Home to Kill Boredom
• How to Get Peace of Mind & Figure Out the Reason of Unhappiness

If you liked the article “A letter to myself”, share it with someone you care and help them stay in a happy & positive mood!