Last updated on May 13th, 2020
Sometimes (not always), the best kind of forgiveness is the one which comes after healing. Yes, it’s so true! Forgiveness is not always the solution. But, please do not misinterpret the message what I am trying to give you.
What Is More Important, Forgiving or Healing?
Think about a domestic violence victim who is so upset that she doesn’t want to forgive her husband, at least not for now but she is under a societal pressure to forgive her husband, not file a divorce and live happily with him again as nothing has happened. Now, don’t tell me, it doesn’t happen. And, don’t you think, it’s quite inhuman to force her show generosity?
What would be the outcome of it? Does this cruelty of forgiveness is good for her mental health?
While she is going through suppressed anger, depression, you are bounding her from releasing her agony, you are asking her to bear this poison of the crime silently which could end up aggravating her condition. Would it not leave the adverse effect on her mental health.
Now, tell me What is more important, forgiving or healing?
Without healing forgiveness doesn’t come. Yes, after forgiving one may heal more and find peace but with suppressed anger, it is never possible.
When a person goes through agony and tries to come out of this, she/he holds the non-forgiving & grudging attitude, revenge, and these emotions help. It doesn’t mean she should always be supported for revenge. But, is imposing forgiveness upon her good way to heal her?
Forcing forgiveness may delay forgiveness
It makes a person more bitter, she might take the forgiveness as another injustice to her.
And eventually, it will help her to develop more hatred to forgiveness.
Do not be so cruel on yourself and on others to force forgiveness when it is not even right. One more word of advice: do not judge others if they are finding themselves unable to forgive. Rather, you should try to find ways to help them in healing their wounds.
Plus, If you are being forced forgiveness, just refuse it! Just do whatever makes you happy, in what you get mental peace.
Other helpful articles:
- Lost your peace of mind? Figure out why you are not happy
- Self-acceptance: what it means & how to achieve it
- 30 stress buster activities to help you get mental happiness
- 40 positive things to say to yourself every day
- Learn to ignore things & be happy
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